


"But it's not like I'm scared though."

by orphan_account



Series: Thiam Shorts :) [13]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Breaking and Entering, Domestic Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Kissing in the Rain, M/M, Moving In Together, Puppy Liam, Scared Liam Dunbar, Scared Theo Raeken, Star Wars References, The Pack Being Idiots, Theo is a Little Shit, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:01:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25329724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Theo and Liam have just moved out together, and catch wind of some incredible break in statistics for their new neighbourhood courtesy of Jenna. The pack then consequently scare the shit out of them.
Relationships: Liam Dunbar/Theo Raeken
Series: Thiam Shorts :) [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1767952
Comments: 6
Kudos: 50





	"But it's not like I'm scared though."

**Author's Note:**

> why the fuck is this so long for crack bahhah? I think it's because I got caught up in the fluff at the beginning.  
> uh yeah, i have absolutely no clue what this is, but i hope it's kinda funny? Idk how Theo has such handyman skills so quick, but just roll with it.

“Ugh, I am so glad we finally got all the boxes unpacked. That was hell.” Liam groaned, plopping down heavily onto their bed. 

See, Theo and Liam had finally moved out of the Geyer house this week, and as completely lovely as it had been, they were still glad to have some privacy. Today they’d finally finished unpacking their many boxes (the contents of which were mainly lacrosse trophies Liam used to gloat about how much better he was than his boyfriend) and it was safe to say Liam did not enjoy the unpacking aspect of the whole moving thing. Actually, in all truth, he hadn’t enjoyed any of it. Mason, god bless his heart, had pretty much done most of the sorting, although he had to admit that Theo had done a fair bit, seeing as he was far more pernickety about what went where. Incredible, given that he was the one that had lived in his car for a solid year. And don’t even get Theo started on the house’s colour coordination, he could go on for years about complimentary colours, which were aesthetically matched to their decor, and what level of warmth certain shades gave off. Liam really couldn’t care less as long as it looked nice. 

“Trust me, I’m an expert in all things hell related, and that wasn’t that bad.” Theo grinned, draped himself horizontally across the bed too, crinkling the deep blue satin covers, and a smiling Liam snuggled into his broad chest. He could get used to this.

“Are you still milking that?” Liam giggled, trying his best to sound frustrated. He was too drunk on happiness to be mad at anything right now. 

“Forever.” Theo replied, carding a gentle hand through his hair. 

“It’s already gotten really old.”

“Yeah, well I was the one who got dragged into the ground by my dead sister, so I think I deserve at least being able to use it once in a while.” Theo shrugged.

“Mhm.” Liam smiled. “Sure.”

“What?”

“Once in a while.” Liam rolled his eyes. “Every single time someone dares say hell sounds more fitting.”

“Didn’t know you were keeping tabs on what I say Li.” Theo gazed down at him, eyebrows raised cockily and the corners of his mouth turned upwards in a smirk. “How sweet.”

“Well, you never know when it could come in handy.” Liam said nonchalantly. “You’re quite useful you know?” Theo punched him lightly on the shoulder. “Rude.”

“That’s what you said last time Dumbar.” Liam scowled, “And now look where we are.” Theo waved a hand over their bodies, Liam was full on lying on top of the chimera, head tucked under his chest. 

“I’d say it worked out pretty well.” Liam sighed blissfully, eyelids drooping. 

“No falling asleep on me baby blue eyes, I had other things planned for tonight.” Theo winked and Liam flushed. 

“Stop calling me baby blue eyes.” Liam sat up, he crawled over to the other side of the bed so he was now sitting cross legged next to the chimera.

“And why should I?” Theo taunted. 

“It makes me sound like a child. And I’m not.” Liam sulked adorably, highly contradictory to his point. 

“Well I love it.” Theo smiled warmly. 

“Pedophile are we now Theodore?” Liam gasped in mock disapproval and Theo shoved him off the edge of the bed, he heard a small yelp as the werewolf hit the floor. 

“Way to ruin the moment Li.” 

“Says the one who literally admitted to enjoying when I sound like a CHILD.” Liam heaved himself back onto the bed, gripping the oak headboard for support. 

“Wow. You know Liam, I WAS going to sleep with you tonight in celebration of the whole your parents being out of earshot thing, but if you think I’m a pedo….” Theo shrugged, slipping one foot off the bed and onto the freshly carpeted floor, “May as well leave-“

“Ok, fine. You’re not a pedophile.” Liam amended hastily, probably too eagerly, as Theo looked unimpressed as he turned back around to face the wolf. 

“Someone’s desperate.” Theo looked him up and down smugly. 

“Someone’s being a little shit.” Liam retorted. 

“Oh Liam. Poor, sweet, naive Liam, if either of us are little it’s certainly not me.” 

“Ok, well someone is decreasing the chance of me sleeping with him rapidly.” Liam folded his arms. 

“You know you can’t resist me.” Theo leaned in to place a firm kiss on Liam’s mouth, though he planned on pulling away momentarily to continue his teasing of the younger man, but Liam just snaked his hand round the back of Theo’s neck and into his hair, pulling him in and locking their lips passionately. 

“You’re not wrong there.” Liam whispered into his mouth, and Theo chuckled triumphantly as Liam’s tongue licked his bottom lip. They continued for a solid five minutes, the kisses growing steadily longer , before Liam’s phone buzzed violently and they paused. Theo groaned into the werewolf’s mouth in disappointment. 

“And someone called me desperate.” Liam smirked at the look on Theo’s face as he wriggled out from beneath the chimera and grabbed his phone off of their dresser. THEIR dresser. He liked being able to call stuff theirs, even if they had practically shared anything and everything before moving out. A weird warmth permeated his chest at the remembrance that he lived with Theo. The Theo Raeken. Sure, he had lived with him for a while now, but that had been in his parent’s house. This was their house. Their future. He grinned. 

“Liam, your smile is beautiful, but are you going to actually check your phone or are you just going to grin at it?” Theo broke his train of thought impatiently. 

“Mmm.” He mumbled in response as he put in his password and unlocked his phone. He smiled again as he was brought to his home screen. It was a photo of Theo and him that Mason had taken, Theo had an arm around him, smile brighter than the stars, and Liam was holding an ice cream cone that was very much melted and looking at the side of Theo’s face lovingly.

“Ok, seriously, are you dumping me for your phone or something, because you don’t even look at me like that? If so I am VERY offended and I’m sure the downstairs computer would be more than happy to shack up with me, so there.” Theo teased and Liam smacked his arm lightly. 

“It was my mom.” Liam explained as he read the message and the colour drained from his face. 

“What is it with Jenna and texting you right before I’m about to get laid?” Theo laughed fondly, shaking his head. “The woman has some sixth sense concerning our sex life or something I swear.” Liam laughed uncomfortably. “Li? You alright?” He questioned, noticing and most likely smelling Liam’s discomfort. 

“We locked the front door, right?” Liam turned back to Theo, brow furrowed. 

“Of course we did, just because I’m THIS dashingly good looking doesn’t mean I can’t be smart, why?” Theo chuckled, but he didn’t look nearly as cheery as he sounded, why was Liam asking him about their home security now? Bit late really. 

“Nothing, Mom just texted me to remind me to lock it, our neighbourhood has an, phew, very impressive break in rate.” Liam read off the screen eyes widening as he looked at the numbers. “Those really are incredible.” They exchanged a nervous glance, and sat unmoving for a solid minute. Liam broke the silence first. “But it’s fine. We’re fine.” He nodded, more trying to convince himself than his boyfriend. 

“Liam. We’re literally a freaking chimera and werewolf. We can handle a burglar or two if we have to.” Theo reassured him, but again even the usually collected chimera’s voice wavered in fear. “This is dumb. We’re being dumb.”

“Yeah. You’re right, we’re just being paranoid.” Liam agreed, he laughed breathily. “We’ve taken down beserkers, hunters, and at one point I even took down YOU.”

“You must be strong then, not many manage such a fete.” Theo nodded slowly.

“Don’t get too cocky babe, it wasn’t that hard.” Liam shoved him, trying in vain to erase Theo’s trademark smirk from that perfect face.

“Yeah right.” Theo looked skeptical, but grinned nonetheless. “Now where were we?” He leaned in again and Liam smiled as he waited for the familiar impact of Theo’s lips on his. It never happened. What did happen, instead, was their bedroom door flung open with a squeak, and both Liam and Theo squealed at an alarming pitch, jumping off of each other. 

“BURGLAR!”

“MURDERER!”

“No. Mason.” Mason smiled eagerly at the two, who were perched on top of the bed thoroughly shaken. Liam had even grabbed a lamp and had been about to take a swing at Mason’s head, that probably would’ve been fatal for the human if he’d gotten any closer. “You guys alright?”

“Jesus christ Mase, you scared the shit out of us.” Liam sighed, taking a long, steadying breath and putting the lamp back down on their table heavily, Theo winced at such an action that would inevitably leave a dent on the polished hardwood. 

“I can tell.” Mason held back laughter at the state of the two men he’d learnt to call his best friends. “Intense.” He pointed at the bulge in Theo’s pants, who just shot him a withering glare. 

“How did you even get in?” The chimera queried, casting Liam a furtive glance. If Mason of all people could get in, then potential murderers would have no problem doing the same.

“Back door was open.” Mason shrugged, and Liam and Theo locked eyes again. They hadn’t locked the back door? They HAD a back door? “You may wanna consider locking that, I’ve heard there have been a fair few break ins around here.”

“We’re aware. Thank you.” Theo ran a hand through his hair slowly, they really needed to be more careful. “So what did you want again Mason?”

“I just wanted to see how the place, you know, felt now that it’s all fully moved into.” The human walked over calmly to their bookshelves and began leafing through an assortment of books. “These are nice.” Theo’s eyes widened in a fusion of disbelief and anger, and Liam cast him a very clear ‘do not say anything stupid’ look.

“Mason,” Liam started gently, “we’re really glad you like it, but we were kinda busy.” He flushed a furious red as Theo tried not to laugh beside him and kicked him on the shin. 

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry.” Mason laughed as he realised what Liam meant. “I’ll come round tomorrow then?”

“Definitely.” Liam sighed in relief.

“Have fun then.” Mason winked as he waltzed out their bedroom, scuttled down the stairs and slammed shut the back door behind him as he exited the Dunbar-Raeken house. The back door they hadn’t known existed. Mason seemed to have a thing for remarkably quick, impromptu visits. Huh. 

Liam turned back to a clearly conflicted Theo, “I’m sorry, about him I-“

“BACK door?” Theo interrupted and shook his head vigorously. “How did we not know we even had one?”

“My reputation isn’t really being the brains of this relationship, so really, I should be asking you that Theodore.” Liam laughed, trying to lighten the mood, even though he could smell Theo’s fear, which had an undeniable strength to it, and was sure Theo could sense his too. Wait, what? Liam wasn’t scared. Pfft. As if. 

“Very funny.” Theo rolled his eyes. “I’ll be right back then.” He practically sprinted down the stairs at a remarkable speed, vaulting over the banister, Liam assumed locking this infamous, mystery door. God they were paranoid. A record thirty seconds later he had made it back upstairs, panting heavily and clutching his side. 

“All good.” He held up his thumb as he doubled over, trying to reattain his regular breathing rate. 

“This is so dumb Theo. We’re going to be totally fine, and anyways, not locking the door was just a silly mistake, a one time thing. Everything’s going to be perfectly fine.” Liam placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. But in all truth, every reassuring word he spoke to his boyfriend was more aimed at himself. Ok, maybe Liam was a tiny bit scared. The dumb thing was, he had absolutely no valid reason to be scared. And besides, he was Liam Dunbar. A fucking werewolf. He wouldn’t let his night be ruined by the prospect of some skimpy burglars. A now steadied Theo seemed to have come to the same conclusion, as he quickly scooped up the younger man by the legs and cradled him in his arms. Liam would say he hated when Theo did this, but why lie? He’d never tell Theo that of course. 

Liam squealed, “Put me down you-“

“Really? Down?” Theo laughed and effortlessly swung his arms down to the floor, leaving Liam’s face dangling inches above the floor, and the wolf screamed again. “Aw, you scream like a girl.”

“Theodore I swear to god!”

“He won’t care, if I recall correctly he’s an atheist.” Malia’s clear, unimpressed voice rang out from their bedroom’s door frame, and this time Liam was not so lucky, he hit the ground with a loud thud as Theo’s grip on him released in shock upon seeing Malia’s lanky frame in their bedroom. “Oof, well that looked liked it hurt.”

“Mmm.” Liam groaned, mouth filled with carpet fluff. Ew. He sat up, face flushed with a mix of anger and embarrassment. “What the hell are you doing here Malia?”

“More importantly, how did you even get in?” Theo blinked furiously.

“Your living room window wasn’t locked. Wasn’t too hard to climb in.” She shrugged as if it were perfectly normal to climb into her friends’ house through their window in the middle of the night. Theo and Liam looked at each other, eyebrows raised to an alarming height. 

“We’re totally going to get assassinated.” Liam muttered under his breath. “Just our luck.”

“You still haven’t explained why you’re here Malia?” Theo prompted, he was going to fully destroy the next person who broke into their house tonight. “This better be good or you’re just a fucking psychopath.”

“Stiles wanted me to ask if you wanted to go watch the new Star Wars with us tomorrow Theo. Why he wants YOU to come I have no clue, but yeah.” She picked at her nails. “Nice house I guess.”

“Sure.” Theo flushed, attempting his best ‘I don’t care’ expression, but that had been the first invite from them to something that wasn’t just a pack meeting. A weird warmth filled Liam at the news. He was finally being accepted. It was kind of awkward timing though. “Why did you have to break into our house at midnight to tell me this again? I have this thing called a mobile, you know?”

“I blocked your number first chance I got.” She smiled and Theo stuck up his middle finger at her. “So, is that a yes?”

“Yes. Just please, please call Liam next time instead of giving us a fucking heart attack.” Theo sighed. “And tell Stiles I’m not dressing up.”

“You got it.” She flipped her brown curls over her shoulder and stalked out the room. “And you do sound like a girl Li.” 

They heard the squeak of the window as it shut, and then they were alone yet again. They stood in silence, both not wanting to be the first to say anything. Then...

“WE HAVE TO GO LOCK THE WINDOWS!” The couple cracked in sync, and raced down the stairs at an incredible pace, the sound of their bare feet pattering on the wood deafening. Theo ran into the kitchen, Liam into the living room and in a record five minutes they had successfully sealed all the downstairs windows known to mankind. Not too bad if they did say so themselves.

“But it’s not like I’m scared though.” Theo scoffed once they’d made their way back upstairs to the bedroom and were sitting cross legged, facing each other on the bed. Theo’s hair was all matted from the running in that adorable way that made you desperate to run a hand through it. Wow. That would forever remain one of Liam’s favourite sights. That and bacon. You could never top bacon.

“Me neither.” Liam agreed, nodding his head violently. They paused again. “So.... you wanna go to sleep now?”

“No.” Theo said immediately and shivered, staring intently out the window, green eyes glittering. 

“Yeah me neither.” Liam parroted at the same speed. “It’s not because we’re scared though.” He chuckled, looking down. 

“Oh yeah, totally. I’m just not tired.” Theo joined in with the awkward laughter, heartbeat skipping around like crazy. He stifled a yawn. “Mm wide awake.” He mumbled, nearly inaudible. 

“Netflix?” Liam offered, wracking his brain for a distraction. 

“As long as it’s not Criminal Minds again, then sure.” Theo rubbed his eyes sleepily. 

“If some badass thieves come to try murder us in our sleep I’m letting them take you first solely for that comment.” Liam wagged his finger at his boyfriend, who scooped him up in a big, warm hug from behind, hands round his waist. 

“They go for the weaker one first, so I think you’d be too dead to do any such thing.” Theo whispered in his ear. 

“Fuck off.” Liam grinned nonetheless though, he couldnt name a better distraction then Theo Raeken. Then again, he was pretty sure both of them were too scared to sleep any time soon. “And you really don’t find Spencer Reid attractive?”

“Not really.”

“You’re a disgrace to the gays.” Liam scolded. How was that even possible? 

“I second that.” A low voice came from behind them and Theo squealed, shoved an also screeching Liam off his lap, and practically threw himself down the stairs. 

“I’M TOO PRETTY TO DIEEEEEE!” Was what Liam swore he heard, Theo later would beg to differ. 

“Please don’t kill me, I still haven’t seen Theo cry at the Titanic yet!” Liam pleaded, eyes covered as he turned around to face his attacker. He was going to die and he still hadn’t made Theo admit that Matthew Gray Gubler was such a power bottom. Or ball his eyes out watching Jack drown. He was convinced he could make both happen. He couldn’t, however, if he was dead. Or at least he didn’t think so. 

“I’m not going to kill you dumbass. Besides, I would pay to see that too.” Liam removed his shaking hands from his face to see Stiles fucking Stilinski climbing through his bedroom window. Did no one have Liam’s number? 

“STILES WHAT THE FUCK?” Liam yelled, “I nearly pissed myself.”

“I know.” Stiles snickered. “And Theo sounded like Lydia making a prediction."

“WHY DOES NO ONE KNOW HOW TO USE A PHONE AND WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK IT’S OK TO CLIMB THROUGH THEIR FRIENDS’ WINDOWS LATE AT NIGHT?” Liam gestured wildly at the human, who had successfully entered the room now, and swore as he heard the front door swing shut. Theo had left. Great. He didn’t blame him to be honest. 

“Theo’s not my friend.” Stiles corrected as Liam paced up and down the room worriedly. “And Lydia confiscated my phone because I kept ringing work to make sure no one had been murdered. I guess that’s not normal to do at 3 am for some reason, but yeah.” 

“If Mason, Malia and you can break in then Theo and I are so screwed. Fuck.” Liam groaned, ignoring Stiles’ weird work addiction, but stopped as he saw the condescending look on his friend’s face. “What on earth was so urgent that you-” Liam peered out the window Stiles had climbed in from and saw a long coil of rope hanging down. “Jesus christ Stiles you scaled the wall?”

“I know right.” He looked proud and Liam punched him squarely on the chest. “Well that was uncalled for.”

“Literally, what could be this important?”

“I was just making sure Theo hadn’t murdered you.” Stiles smacked his lips together and leaned against Liam’s bookshelf. 

“Like Theo could take me.” Stiles’ eyebrows raised. “Ok, fine, jeez you guys have such little faith in me. And you know Theo would never hurt me.” Liam glared at him and Stiles chuckled fondly. 

“Ok, fine. I heard from Malia that he said no to cosplaying when we go to the movie. That was the incorrect answer.” Stiles looked appalled, but Liam didn’t blame him, he was sure he’d get a good laugh out of seeing Theo in some dumb costume. It still wasn’t a good enough excuse. 

“I get that these dumb alien movies mean a lot to you guys, but you could’ve told him tomorrow.” Liam sat back down on the edge of his bed. 

“DUMB ALIEN MOVIES?!” Stiles roared, a remarkably inhuman sound coming from such a frail man. “You take that back right now young man.”

“Get out of my house Stilinski.” Liam demanded. 

“We going by last name now?” Stiles scoffed. 

“NOW.” Liam repeated and Stiles shuffled out the room.

“Tell Theo he has to dress up or I’ll put him back in hell!” the human’s voice faded as the front door slammed shut yet again. What a night. They were so fucked. Well, he better ring his family and friends and tell them he loved them now. 

~~

“Liam!” He heard a familiar voice yell from outside about half an hour later, and the werewolf ran to his window, wind whipping his hair back into his face. There was Theo, standing drenched in the rain, clothes clinging tightly to his skin and some weird, beeping contraption in his hand. It was now around 1 am, and their neighbourhood was lit only by the luminescent light of the street lamps dotted sporadically down the road. It was surprisingly beautiful. Too bad they’d have to move out once they’d been robbed. Or murdered. But then they wouldn’t have to move out, they’d just be dead. 

“Theo? What on earth are you doing down their? It’s pouring it down!” Liam yelled, opening the window so Theo would hear him over the splashing of the rain. 

“Just come!” Was his reply, and Liam rolled his eyes. Always with the ambiguity. He made his way outside to their dimly lit front porch, where a soaking Theo was waiting for him. 

“You’re not touching me like that.” Liam waved his hand in disgust as a rain drop dripped off of Theo’s nose. 

“Who was it that called me irresistible earlier?” Theo smirked. 

“You.” 

“Oh.” Theo shrugged, “Well anyway, we both know I am, so there.”

“Why are we standing in the rain at 1 am Theodore?” Liam shivered, and Theo wrapped a wet arm around him. Not helping, but he had good intentions. 

“I totally solved our whole break in problem.” The chimera grinned triumphantly and held out his whirring contraption. “This is a home security system – device – thing that I found in the garage.”

“You sound like you know a lot about it.” Liam teased. “How has this thing solved all our problems?”

“It locks all the doors and windows from the outside, I just set it up before you came out here, and it only opens them with a special password you type into this thingy.” Theo explained, waving his machine in front of Liam’s face wildly, who swatted his hand away before he took out his eye. “It’s perfect!”

“So they’re all locked? No way in?” Liam smiled as Theo nodded vigorously. “Well then we may finally get some privacy.” He snuggled into Theo’s very damp chest and snaked a hand round his waist. “What do you say we sleep tomorrow instead?”

“I say it sounds marvellous.” Theo leant down to catch the man’s lips on his. “But you’ve got to know that I’d never let anyone hurt you if they broke in.”

“I know. I love you Theo.” He smiled widely, “And I’d never let anyone hurt you either.”

“Yeah that’s sweet but they’d probably manage to kill you in a flash.” Theo poked him playfully.

“Whatever you dick.” Liam rolled his eyes, walked over to the door and tugged on the door handle. It didn’t open.

“Ah, yeah, let me just type in the password.” Theo tapped something into his machine. It flashed red back at him. “Whoops, must have been a typo.” He tried again. A red light lit up his features again. “Uh? One more time?” That daunting crimson light flashed yet again.

“Theo?” Liam’s voice raised in a steady crescendo. “Do you know the password or not?”

“I DID!” he defended himself, “I must’ve forgotten it or something?”

“IN THE TWO MINUTES YOU’VE HAD THIS DAMN THING?!” Liam yelled.

“I have a bad memory!”

“So we’re stuck out here?” Liam sighed, running a fed up hand through his wet strands of hair.

“Yep.” Theo grimaced, and Liam punched him softly. “Is anyone still awake?”

“Nope.” 

“Shit.”

“Oh yeah by the way, Stiles is making you dress up for the movie.”

“No way.” Theo shook his head violently as the rain just kept pouring down. 

“I think you should go as that Princess Leia woman.” 

“Ha fucking ha Liam.”

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are always appreciated :)


End file.
